According to Will's elder brother,
he was so fond of vinegar as a youth that he used to sprinkle it
liberally onto chocolate blancmange. But let's stick to the facts:
William James Byers was born in a narrow strip of
civilisation on the south coast of England. With the ocean on one
side and a forest on the other, this isolated community tends to
squeeze its progeny out with a loud Pop! and send them on wild and
unknown trajectories. This was certainly the case with Will.
Presided over by the foreboding oil refinery,
the inhabitants have always known what it's like to be a target
for imminent nuclear annihilation. Along with the ever-present stink
that it raises, bathing the land in a distinctive eggy hum, and
the regular deaths of locals in the vats of crude oil, some people
felt that it was about goddamn time something was done.
But to take on one the world's largest mega-corporations
would take more than a local council meeting. Someone needed to
raise themselves up to the level of the dark, satanic overlords.
Not being of a business bent, Will decided that he could
achieve world domination in another medium...
Heartbroken in having to leave the warm-bosomed cradle of his birthplace,
Byers toiled relentlessly at his craft. In the name of furthering
himself, he went through all manner of trials, including servicing
Valerie Singleton's partner over the course of many months.
But hearing Bee Stings for the first time,
Will knew that this was where his path was leading. Knowing that
they were destined for greatness, fate intervened when their slinky
keyboardist left to pursue her own sordid musical fate with her
freakish, pop-eyed, gonzoid cohort.
Now all is in place and ready. The music is
honed, the people are primed and the world is ready to appreciate
their greatness. Soon all will be at their feet and their compassionate
plans can transform the way we live for the infinite good ...and
William J Byers will return to free the land of his people from tyranny.